Menopause can feel like someone turned up the heat, muted your brain, and handed your emotions a megaphone. One minute you’re fine, the next you’re sweating through your clothes, forgetting what day it is, and crying over an advert for dishwasher tablets. It’s disorienting, exhausting, and often totally isolating. Cue the distant sobbing of your younger self wondering what the hell just happened.

Welcome to the midlife crisis no-one actually prepares you for. There’s a lot of vague talk about “the change,” as if you’re about to evolve into your final Pokémon form. But what they don’t mention is the sheer chaos: the insomnia, the rage, the apathy, the bloating, the chin hairs (omg the chin hairs). It’s like your body isn’t your own anymore.

But before we get into how to survive the full-blown menopausal mayhem, let’s back up a bit. Perimenopause is the hormonal chaos before menopause, and it can kick off way earlier - sometimes as early as your late 30s. It’s the stage where your estrogen goes on a bit of a rollercoaster and you start to get symptoms that come and go so often that you wonder if you’re going a little bit insane.

Think: irregular periods, PMS turned up to the 90s, unexplained anxiety, night sweats, and that creeping sense of “why do I feel weird in my own skin?”. You’re not imagining it. This initial phase can last years and often gets shrugged off or misdiagnosed. 

If this all sounds a bit too relatable, whichever stage you’re at, this is your moment to take a deep breath and make a plan. This isn’t the end. It’s a transition. And yes, you can survive it (and even thrive through it) with a little know-how, self-compassion, and an electric fan in your handbag at all times.

Here’s your real-talk guide to staying sane, supported, and slightly less sweaty through it all.

1. Hot Flashes & Night Sweats: Who Doesn’t Love A Sauna You Can’t Escape From

You could be sitting at your desk or chilling at home and suddenly you’re roasting from the inside out. Chest red, back soaked, upper lip glistening like you've just done a spin class… except you've been standing still.

What helps:

• Layer smart: Breathable clothes you can peel off like an onion (and deodorant so you don’t smell like one). Cotton and linen are your besties. Stay as far away from polyester as humanly possible.
• Cooling sprays and pocket fans: Get them and stash them everywhere. Bedroom, bag, car, desk…wherever you are, you should have a fan - and not just the adoring kind.
• Avoid the triggers: Alcohol, caffeine, spicy food, and stress (well, where possible).

Hot flashes are annoying, but they’re manageable with a bit of planning.

2. Mood Swings: I’m Gonna Swwiiing From The Chandeliers….

One minute you’re totally zen and the next minute you're mid mental breakdown because you stubbed your toe on the door. The emotional highs and lows are real, and extremely inconvenient when you’re having a complete existential crisis whilst also trying to remember where your car keys are.

What helps:

• Move your body: Walking, yoga, dancing around the house naked. Whatever lifts your mood.
• Talk it out: Have a chat with a friend, therapist, or heck even your pet if people aren’t your thing. You're not a burden.
• Say no more often: Less pressure = fewer meltdowns.
  

You’re not moody. Your hormones are throwing tantrums and you’re just trying to keep up.

3. Brain Fog: Wait… What Was I Saying?

Sometimes it feels like one day you woke up and your brain just stopped working. Words disappear mid-sentence. You forget appointments. You walk into rooms and forget why. Welcome to menopausal brain fog- it’s confusing and frustrating, but often pretty hilarious in hindsight (we said hindsight, you’ll laugh later - promise).

What helps:

• Lists. Timers. Notee: Whatever works. Your phone is your second brain now.
• Nutrients/Supplements that support focus: Omega-3s, magnesium, vitamin B, and targeted supplements such as NooFocus.
• Sleep: Or at least give it a good try.
  

Also: go easy on yourself. You’re doing your best with a system reboot in progress. 

4. Sleep? What’s That?

Between the 3am overthinking sessions and the night sweats, sleep becomes more of a memory than a reality. And when you're tired, everything feels harder.

What helps:

• Ditch the phone at night: Scrolling won’t help, nor will a 2am Google search of why you can’t sleep.
• Try magnesium or calming teas before bed, even meditation if that’s your thing: A regular night-time ritual will tell your body it’s time to switch off.
• Fan + breathable bedding (remember what we said about polyester) = less sweaty chaos.

If you can’t sleep, rest anyway. Unwinding with a book or a podcast still counts.

5. Sex Drive, Intimacy & Dry Spells (Literal and Figurative)

Your libido might disappear or sex might start feeling uncomfortable. You’re in an adjustment period (excuse the pun) and it’s 100% normal to feel this way. Estrogen affects vaginal tissue, mood, and sensitivity. All of which can shift during perimenopause and menopause. This won’t last forever and you can absolutely find a workaround. In other words, you’re not staring down the barrel of a sexless 40+ years ahead.

What helps:

• Lube. Always: Make it fun. Don’t be weird about it.
• Communication: With your partner and with yourself. You’re allowed to change.
• Hormonal support : There’s lots of support available, from HRT to local estrogen creams. Talk to your GP to get the ball rolling.

Intimacy doesn’t have to disappear ; the rules might just need to change a little.

6. Build Your Menopause Survival Squad

Going through this solo is rough. Finding a community makes a massive difference, even if it’s just one other person in your life who gets it. That one person will make you feel a million times less alone. Bonus points if they bring snacks.

Try:

• Online forums or Facebook groups (search for menopause or perimenopause support).
• Listening to menopause podcasts while walking or on those nights you just can’t nod off.
• Sharing your experience with friends; you’ll be surprised how many are experiencing exactly the same thing.

Still Sane, Slightly Sweaty, and Totally Fine

Menopause isn’t a weakness. It’s a shift, and it’s one that demands self-compassion, boundaries, and better-quality pajamas. Yes, it’s unfair. Yes, it can seriously make you feel like crap. But it can also be the beginning of a new chapter where you finally start putting yourself first.

So stock your handbag with the essentials, laugh at the chaos when you can, and stop apologising for needing space, rest, or a nap at 2pm.

You’ve got this.

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